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literature
Hey Now, Love
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Literature Text
I see the moonlight dancing through her hair,
Her complexion haunting in the night, so fair.
Hey, you've been gone for so long,
And I miss being with you.
Hey, is there something wrong?
Lately I've been so blue.
I see her smiling while she sleeps; the same thoughts we share.
Her breath on my chest is so gentle, and there's love in the air.
Hey, I miss staying up late,
And holding you through the night.
Hey, I'll fall apart at this rate,
Sleeping alone again, tonight.
I feel her heart beat with mine, and it's a feeling so rare.
My fingers entwined with hers, oh this is love now, I'm aware.
Hey now, you're still not here.
I miss you, love, where have you gone?
Hey now, I'm going mad without you dear.
Now I'm alone again, at dawn.
Her complexion haunting in the night, so fair.
Hey, you've been gone for so long,
And I miss being with you.
Hey, is there something wrong?
Lately I've been so blue.
I see her smiling while she sleeps; the same thoughts we share.
Her breath on my chest is so gentle, and there's love in the air.
Hey, I miss staying up late,
And holding you through the night.
Hey, I'll fall apart at this rate,
Sleeping alone again, tonight.
I feel her heart beat with mine, and it's a feeling so rare.
My fingers entwined with hers, oh this is love now, I'm aware.
Hey now, you're still not here.
I miss you, love, where have you gone?
Hey now, I'm going mad without you dear.
Now I'm alone again, at dawn.
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Remember the beginning?
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Critique questions:
1. I've told a story of how a relationship has changed from when it started. The words in italics describe the past, and the quatrains describe the present. Is this idea clearly conveyed?
2. I came up with the past and present parts of the poem separately. Do they flow well when read together?
3. Do my repetitions of "Hey" and "Hey now" work well?
4. Do the different rhyme schemes in the descriptions of the past and the first person view of the present work well together?
5. Does the poem convey well the feelings of a person who is distraught with how their relationship has changed?
My Critique: [link]
_____________________
Critique questions:
1. I've told a story of how a relationship has changed from when it started. The words in italics describe the past, and the quatrains describe the present. Is this idea clearly conveyed?
2. I came up with the past and present parts of the poem separately. Do they flow well when read together?
3. Do my repetitions of "Hey" and "Hey now" work well?
4. Do the different rhyme schemes in the descriptions of the past and the first person view of the present work well together?
5. Does the poem convey well the feelings of a person who is distraught with how their relationship has changed?
My Critique: [link]
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